Making & Breaking Life Pacts

As I am sitting here, still in the energy of the New Year, I have been thinking a lot about life pacts. You might think of them as life contracts, or agreements, but whatever you call them there are certain agreements that have been made before and during our lifespan. As far as I can tell there are two different times we make contracts or pacts, once before we enter this world, and then throughout our life time as we experience the joys and challenges of being human.

Photo: NeONBRAND

Photo: NeONBRAND

The way I have come to understand the mysterious phenomena of coming earthside (and the understanding that has felt most right for myself) is that before our consciousness (soul) comes to inhabit a human form we devise a contract, or plan, for our upcoming human experience. In this contract we gather around us guides, ascended masters, and angels in the subtle realm that we are preparing to depart and collaborate on ways these spirits will support the unfolding and awakening of our soon-to-be human self. I imagine it is a joyful ceremony among these souls, for through our bravery to come to the 3D these guides get to experience it all through us too! This contract will outline some meetings & converging points, still making way for free will, but experiences that will be pivotal for our souls refinement. This contract is set for our life, though its many details will unfold as our journey does.

Then there are the pacts. Pacts are agreements that come up throughout our life journey. Some are positive, but some keep us from realizing our fullest potential. Pacts are often written on our hearts in the aftermath of a challenging experience. The closing off from love after a difficult breakup. The playing it small after feeling like a failure from a job lay-off. The hardened exterior after surviving abuse. The truth about these pacts is unfolding and I am coming to understand more fully and practically that

The pacts we make can break us

But the pacts we break can make us

I have made so many pacts in my life that have slowed my progress- and the tricky thing is, most of the time we are unaware that we made these promises to ourselves. They arise from the ego in an attempt to protect us in the future- but in truth it keeps us in a holding pattern with our thoughts that prevents our evolution and expansion over time.

Some of the not so helpful pacts I have made in the past are …

When everyone around me is happy I can be happy

Once I have struggled, I can be successful, as struggle is what validates my success

Because I went to a second rate college I am only good enough for second rate work

… and there are many others, both big and small. Over the last few days I have been collecting them in my journal as I contemplate this concept. Of course reading them it seems ridiculous but the truth is? I operate under these deals with myself. Crazy Town.

But the first step is naming them- this is the awareness. Calling out the behavior that is no longer in congruence with my values, ideals, and goals in life is the waking up and seeing previously perceived obstacles as … well, not obstacles. They are just illusions that create a false sense of security.

Moving forward I am committed to breaking these pacts that sit at the root of my perceived limitations. Louise Hay said it best that

If you accept a limiting belief, then it will become a truth for you.

Only I can remember my own limitless potential- and that limitless potential is my natural state. I suppose that along with naming and dissolving these pacts its important to also remember self-forgiveness and compassion. In the moment we drew up these pacts we thought it for the best, and often there is pain involved. It was designed to protect. Looking back at these experiences and the ripples created from that moment in time could make us frustrated or even say cruel things to ourselves but that isn’t productive at all. It’s important to remember that the past is the past. I had a moment where my own pacts truly hurt me- my old self had limited me and my current self couldn’t believe I was so ignorant in the moment. Ouch Janae, be a bit more compassionate! And that is when the forgiveness steps in. I have to remind myself that I am always doing the best that I can with what I have.

And that includes the work of dismantling these pacts and rewriting new ones too. I fully expect as time goes on that the new pacts I write in the coming months will need revised and edited, and I also know that there may be times I write an unhelpful pact once again in response to an experience. I can only hope to continue approaching life with a curiosity, compassion, and an openness to witness myself in these co-creative moments when I can either learn a lesson and move on, or, decide to continue with creating new limitations on myself in an attempt to control life. So I’m rolling up my sleeves and calling in my friend humility.

I do this work for future Janae, and I know she will be thankful that I took this time to review, assess, and heal.

Have you ever looked at your life pacts? What promises and agreements have you made with yourself that have or haven’t helped you along your path?